I was having such a good time composing music today only to realize I had to go to work and the usual depression kicks in. I don't wanna do this anymore. I really don't. I'm 30 years old and a fucking failure with no papers to my name; I feel sometimes like I'm gonna be stuck in this job for the rest of my life. Why try anyway? It's only a matter of time when a mistake comes back to haunt me even though I am not that mistake anymore. I don't get it anymore. I just don't get it. I wanna be free from my past, but I just can't... and I'm sitting here having to vent about it online cause therapists are about the only thing more useless than me.